ei guys!!! im moving to livejournal.com na.. wala lng.. my friends are really persuasive.. ahehe... i'll miss this site... pero actually.. d pa rin naman to mawawala.. if i feel like it.. i'll post some entries... ndi na lng ganon kadalas.. mwah mwah...

kei... the title would be the 8-word Wiccan rede that seems to be stuck in my head for quite sometime now... practical really so i dont mind..
2nd SEM FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG!!!! i passed with flying colors and doves and flames!!!!! wahehe... 1.5's not bad if you think about those poor students who got 5 on their statistics... tsk..tsk... ah well... so the only thing left to do is to wait for our AHSE recognition then.. LET THE REAL GAME BEGIN!!!!

----------------WTf-----
ang dami ko kasi gusto isulat... hmm...

1. about this recognition, well though i've been a passive participant in the planning and organizing, walang regrets... mahirap na kc bka kung ano pa mangyari sakin pagumepal pa ko dun.. d ako tulad ng iba na hindi na nga saking gawain... ipagduldulan ko pa daw sarili ko para mapili.. wahehe... err.. sori...

2. i have to pass my report cards para naman masama ako sa top 20 na papanik sa 28... hmm... i have to be here sa monday or bukas.. fuck fuck fuck!!!!

3. getting more and more interested in this Wicca thing.. check this site...

Wicca site

4. the first thing i wanna learn is how to astral project so...

leaving the body

5. me and my 2 bestfriends went out for the very first time yesturday... we watched 2 movies.. The Curse.... wahehehehehehehehe..... i advise you all NOT to watch that.. or if you really have the urge to waste your money on something so not worth it.. go by all means!!! and THe Butterfly Effect... hmm.. one fine movie if you ask me... what else.. we ate... then un... nakakainis lng kcparang ako lng nag-eenjoy eh supposed to be kaya ko sila sinama is para mag-enjoy din sila... di na nga maulit yun.. hmph! pero d naman ako galit... mas inis lang ako sa sarili ko kc i wasnt able to make the enjoy each others company.. or so i think.. yaan mo na nga.........

6. nawawala ung anak ng tito ko... oh.. i do hope na kung totoo ngang i have some innate ability to see the unseen and what ever is happening... i hope i see this one.. to help them...

un na lng muna... ja!!!

6 down... 1 to go.. and then.. FREEDOM!!!!! ahehe... OMG!!! i am so anticipating summer break... and why shouldnt i? god.. its a 14-day long break from.. care... biological bullcraps and people!!!!!!
hmm... actually... im beginning to think that i am a wee bit an introvert... shhh... it would ruin my rep if people found out that the most popular and friendliest (grammar check pls...) person in all of FEU I.N is so irritated by the sight of people flocking sa pav or checknig the bulletin board for recent posts... bka di na ko maging PRO.. ahehe... i love that job pa naman....^^

neway, updates... hmm... i dont quite get it why some people are so INTO their grades... i mean... they're just numbers... would that numbers help you go tob heaven on the judgement day? "so you... in order for you to pass through the gates of heaven... let me ask you.. what was your grade in...." how non-sensical... ahehe... dont mind me kei??? neway, let me give you some views about death...

1. death is the completion of life, for unless and until one dies, one life is not yet complete...
2. death is the end of fear.. for when we are living, we fear the coming of death.. but once we are dead.. death cannot touch us anymore...
3. immortality can only be attained through death...

what do you think?? pretty good ne? im liking death more and more by the minute.. of course i prefer dying on my own time and condition but since it IS inevitable.. the only thing you can do is live the life YOU want and not the life THEY want for you.. oh k.. whatever...

something weird has happened to me.. maybe someone's playing one sick joke on me or really... jst a coincidence... well.. here it goes...

*she wrote.. feb 27...

> Hi! Im Alex! can you be my friend? i like you
to
> be my friend. i like to meet a person like you,
> who's one of a kind. who is in tune with their
> magick as well. most of us, doesnt realize the
> true value of magick.yet there are still some
who
> we know possess magick within themselves.
> please accept my invitation.
>
> sincerely,
> Alex

**i then added her as a friend... then..

Ma. Vanessa wrote:
> > Hi! Y mo me sinali sa frndster? Kanino mo
> nakuha
> > email add ko?
march 8...
Si Icie ba ang nagsabi ng real name ko sa yo?
Sana ay di mo ko gamitin sa mga balak mo.
Gnagamit mo ang mahika sa pag-aaral mo. Kumukuha
ka ng knowledge ng iba. Sana ay wag mo din gawin
yun sa witchcraft. Magpakatotoo ka naman. Wala
kang ibang pa22nguan kundi ang kawalan kung
nagpatuloy ka. Sana ay umintindi ka. Gamitin mo
ang craft sa magandang bagay wag sa masama.

ayun.. tpos i sent her the first mail she sent me.. tpos...
i said...
"uhm... kung anuman ang ginagawa ko... una sa
lahat ay hindi ko kinuha sa iba.. o ginaya..
besides, what craft are you talking about? ang
alam ko lng.. i have this innate ability to see
things at a touch of a hand... pero d ako sure
kung totoo un.. not until i say stuffs and people
go.. "tama sya.." neway, i dont really know you
so why tell me what to do??"

then she replied march 14...
Really? Wish you luck coz you are one of the
prophecy which we have been waiting for. Well we
don't expect that this will come true coz the
time is running out and some persons which we
really expect didn't came but im happy that you
have existed with this witchy life. Friendster
is for friends not for enemies. . . You shall
remember that. . . Merry Part and Blessed Be! ^_^

hmm... what do you think??? kinda freaky when i think about my growing interest in WICCA... actually, ryt NOW i am RESEARCHING about how to... uhm.. nevermind... hmm...

hmm... for some reason.. i feel really good yesterday and even today... after a heart-breaking conversation with my bestfriend, i feel fine... i dont know why...

if ever you're reading this.. luv you hon! and sana mtapos na yang mga pinaggagagawa mo para enjoy ka lng sa summer!!! buti pa nga kyo kc kami.. forced to study kahit supposedly vacation na!! ahehe.. hope you're happy!!!

kei.. back to me!!! ^^
finals ko sa minor subjects ko ay tapos na.. goodie! at least kng nagkataon.. hanggang wednesday na lng kami...
hmm.. what else what else.... im having this urge to go dancing... wahehe!!!! started when we got flat 1 sa finals namin sa pe.. modern dance... (im addicted to you... dont you know that you're toxic??)
well finals na lng ng major subject ang problema ko and thats it!!! im free... er.. not really.. 10 days lng na free ang sched ko kc.. come march 29.. enrolment na namin... wow!!! nothing can dampen my mood today noh??? what a wonderful feeling... so ibig sabihin.. may masamang mangyayari!!! how cynical!!! yehey!!!
-------------------im insane-----------------------
ah well.. im looking forward sa plan ng section namin to go to bataan for a week... yum yum.. a week of nothing but fun, alcohol and... err... nevermind... hay.. i have to get going na!!! gifts gifts... what is it with gifts?? mas madaling bigyan ang di mo close sa close mo... ah well... ja for now!!!

ever felt being so helpless that you wish you could just die?? well.. i felt just that yesterday.. March 1 2004 9:00-9:30 p.m to be exact..
Fuck everything and anything on this God forsaken world!!!!!!!!!!!!
losing a loved one is something my mind has been preparing for for i dont know how long... but i forgot that in order to cope.. my heart should be prepared as well... hmm... i wanna write the experience before it blurrs from my mind just like any other part of me nowadays...

i was so tired from the R.L.E activity that day... it must've been a friday-the-13th after effect coz everything that could get wrong... did!

1. our original plan for the physical set-up had been demolished because of the darned heat.. and the changes had been laid 1 and a half hour before our presentation so.. we, all drenched in sweat, had no other choice but to skip lunch and continue with the set-up...

2. the fact that the change in sched would make the presentation a bit hassled not to mention late.. imagine the original plan was to start at around 2:30 and because of the JEEPNEY strike, we were forced to start at 1:00!!!!!!! i mean, WTF???? there's all sorts of things to do just to make that change possible.. first, the invitations... the information dessiminated was the program is suppose to start at 2:30. now, we have to go door to door just to say the plans have changed then there's the booths and the dry-run... buti naman at naisip nilang i-cancel ang dry-run kundi wala na talaga kaming magagawa...

3. toasted brown na ang color ko ngayon dahil bilad kami sa araw the whole day!

4. call me paranoid but i think we were being sabotaged by the other section.. our leaflets suddenly went poof! yeah.. and it was during the time they were staying on the third floor of the Baranggay Hall.. where WE left our things... good thing our C.Is called the other C.Is up and asked if they have the leaflets... and you know what??? THEY DID!!!!

5. our bus went bonkers the time we finally decided to go back to school... all sorts of "engine trouble" came plaguing our beloved bus.. the result? they were able to go back to school at around 800 pm...

6. this doesnt concern the class.. but the unluckiest thing that happened to me that day was.. THE HOSPITAL SCENE

** they (my mom and cousin) were able to pick me up from S.M north edsa around 8 and we went directly to the Philippine Heart Center to visit my tita... (Mommy Lucy) she is in Room 126A...( i have to put every last detail of that night here so as to remember...)
then i saw her.. in an oversized hospital gown.. an I.V and Oxygen connected to her... she looked tired and in pain... she was breathing through her mouth (i think.. because she's trying to cough out the phlegm stuck somewhere in her lungs or her upper GIT i wasn't sure).. i said hello and took her hand to my forehead... then i surveyed the room... 2 patients in one room separated by a curtain... food on one side, a long sitting chair on one.. another chair by the side of the bed and behind that, the I.V and the medicine thingy... i sat on the other side of the bed (right) because my tita's sitting down.. hugging my guy cousin and saying sumthing like.. nahihirapan na sya... or di na nya kaya... we were able to talk to her for some brief moments and also shown her my debut pics... she was trying to cough the phlegm out the whole time and when she does, her cough was either full of blood or none at all.. so we called her doctor... Dr. Chua... when he came, he examined her... shakeing his head... he said... " nay, we came to a point where your body reached its limit... masyado pong mataas ang pressure sa inyong baga.. at dahil po dun, pumuputok ung mga blood vessels sa baga nyo kya kapag dumura po kayo, may dugo... ginagawa po natin ang lahat pero ang pinaka maganda po siguro is for you to prepare your soul... magdasal po tyo...." THERE!!!!!!!!!!! my world shattered like a mirror broken to millions of pieces... we were anticipating those words...pero nung sinasabi na nung doctor, parang hindi pa din ako makapaniwala... MY AUNT's DYING!!! God! so there i was.. trying to stop myself from making a scene went to the bathroom and silently cried.. then when we were about to leave, i talked to her.. for the last time (i guess...) she said.. "tapusin muna ang pag-aaral ha! wag munang mag-aasawa..." and i said.. "ndi pa po ako mag-aasawa... pagaling ka! " " i wish na gagaling ako..." "miracle... kasi wala pa akong nkitang minanas na nabuhay.." i kissed her cheek and whisphered the words i think she would hear from me for the first... and last time... " love you..."

as in nothing.. i somehow manage to squeeze this blogs update to my hectic.. and i mean HECTIC schedule.. WTF!!!!!!!!!! hmm.. life update... i've been volunteering... TAMaraw Volunteering to be exact.. fun??? not really... with all the sweat and dirt on every inch of your arms and legs, not to mention your face.. and the glaring sunlight that made me look like an overdone tocino... eww...
but.. it IS REWARDING... boys and bud... hmm... ahehe... a great body drenched in sweat is somewhat... sexy.. ok.. tama na.. rewarding in the sense na makikita mo tlaga ung result ng work mo.. too bad pinulitika nung mga epal na politicians kya napaka minimal nung work na ngawa namin.. but all in all.. it was worth every second! im also a volunteer for the GMa fun run... this coming saturday and sunday... hmm... another adventure...
sa academics.. i think im getting lazier and lazier.. err.. tma ba? by the minute.. wala na yata akong pakialam sa grades k0o as long as passing naman... ah well.. after this week cguro i'd be doing some slacking off and some work at the same time.. fuck this TECHNO REVALIDA.... ah well... i have to score some good grades rto be able to pull my pitifull 70% sa class standing.. wahehe.. my fault mostly.. speaking.. i should be doin some work so.. ja!!!

waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................
well.. not really.. ahehe.. just wanna make this boring entry a bit... well.. non-sensical.. what's up with my life?? hmm... why ask???
kei kei... here it goes....

Feb 7. - The DAY!!!!!!! ayun.. it went well.. THank GOd.. i had fun.. though maraming ndi nkapunta... actually... may tampo ako dun sa iba.. but , alam ko namang di din magtatagal ang tampo ko... pero particularly sa FAMILY KO SA WEAREANIME.com.... wala po ni isang pumunta.. tpos wala man lang bumati sakin nung araw na yun eh.. alam nman nila.. hmph.. ah well...
- ang dami kong gifts!!!! wahehe.. my closet's full of clothes.. mostly blouses na white.. pero fave ko ung dark gray from particles.. ah well.. and then bags... more than a dozen... (urgh... ipamalita daw b???) ahehe.. so what namn d ba?? ayun.. wala na din halos akong space sa kama ko kasi puno na ng pillows.. at kahit once a day ang palit ng pantulog ko...kayang kaya... napakadami ding pantulog.. ah well... fave kong gift?? dalawa actually.. ung necklace na bigay ni PAU.. at ung panda na bigay ni LUCREID... ayun.. special mention na din ung mom nya na binigyan ako ng bag.. (ang cute tlaga promis... )
- neway, to make a two day long story short.. i' had fun and i hope so do my guests na kinaumagahan na umuwi.. mahal ko clang lahat...

Feb. 14 - Valentine's day??? well... kc nung umaga, i was pissed with the reds and the roses... bkit nga ba mas sikat pa yaTA ang valentine's sa christmas??? ah well.. ayun nga.. yun pla.. meron din akong ganon pagdating ng uwian.. HE gave me a journ t-shirt (black) and 6 white roses... why 6??? ah bsta.. sikret!!!! uhm.. hinatid nya me sa haws and stayed there till 11:30 pm.. wawa naman.. ahehe... we played cards and ate pancit canton... san ka pa????? anyway, it beats going to the mall or watching a movie i tell you... ayun lng... mwah mwah...

Now??? what now? im currently the mastermind of an operation to kick some 613 ass!!!!!! why??? ah bsta... sana di na nila ako tinaLO.. kc minsan lng ako umangal... at pag ganon na, wala nang balikan... ah well.. updates to follow na lng... tpusin lng natin.. wahehe.... besides... im suppose to meet someone... ja!!!

debuts are overrated... turning 18 is no big deal for me.. FUCK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is so frustrating... yeah.. no biggie... then.. ndi ko ginustong magpa party and tell the whole world that i AM indeed turnig 18... pero nman... ang dami palang problema nitong @#$&(*% na preparation na to..

wanna know what's happening sa life ko?? yeah.. i bet you dont.. me either...
1. kung sino pa ung mga tinatawag kong barkada.. cla pa ang nag-iinarte sa pagpunta... kesyo late dw cla nasabihan.. or bkit daw ung iba nasabihan cla hindi... well... kc ang tanga tanga ko nmang i assume na di na sla ung dapat na problemahin pa dahil nga BARKADA ko cla.. ang tanga kc akala ko it's a give-in na imbitado cla dhil we've been together for what?? 4 years??? hay nko...
2. sabay sabay ang mga presentations, projects, exams ko.. i have a life.. it WAS fine till the time my mom decided na mgthrow ng isang big celeb for me.. i WAS focused na eh.. sa studies.. even if i wasnt doin much studying.. im prioritizing on it nman...
3. FUCK NSTP!!!!!!!!!!!! ang dami tuloy na part ng program ang ndi mkakapunta.. pag ako nainis tatanggalin ko na lng yung mga 18-18 na yan eh.. what's the use ryt???
4. i.. for no apparent reason.. is feeling crappy this past few days... lack of sleep maybe... pauwi i feel nauseous... headache.. coughs and cold... hay nko... pero 1 thing i love about this??? NPAKA GWAPO NG DESIGNER NG CLOTHES KO!!! ahehe.... nevermind...

ah well.. wala na kng mgagawa... eto na eh.. sana tpos na!!!

no.. not my own.. mine's perfectly fine thank you very much... its just that.. ewan ko.. bkit ganon? kapag ang isang gurl.. nagkaroon ng bf.. nwawala ang sense of independence nila?? hay... take my friend for example.. she got hooked up with a mutual friend just last week.. pareho nmin syang classmate last semester.. the thing is.. parang ndi na sila mapaghiwalay ngayon.. as if nman... araw araw na silang nagkikita.. kaya ang prediction ko.. MAGSASAWA DIN YUN SA ISA'T ISA... hmm... bad ko.. nope.. ndi ako inggit sa kanila.. i love what I HAVE RIGHT NOW.. khit ndi kmi madalas magkita.. ng-uusap nman kmi.. the type where you ask how's everything and what's new.. at least we get to be updated on each others lives without being monotonous like seeing each others faces every ones in a while...
hmm.. not that my man's face is not worth seeing everyday.. believe me it is.. but the thing is.. in a relationship.. you need to be one but two separate entities.. ndi yung kung ano yung ginagawa ng isa.. gagawin mo dn.. like duh??? pareho kya cla ng scent?? hay... anyway, updates lang.. my invitations are finally finished.. all there is left to do is to distribute them.. madali na yung considering mga FEU din most of my friends... ayun.. tma na nga.. update ko nas lng ung page..

i thinking not to post any of the results of my onlyn quizzes here... since it's nonsensical... hay life...

2 weeks away from being all grown up.. err.. i think that's what everyone would expect of me once i turn 18... speaking... i have a few of their expectations in my mind ryt now... feeling ko eto ung mga un and kung sino ang nag-eexpect...

Parents
1. Become more responsible and serious bout my studies:
- hmm... siguro.. actually i've been meaning to switch to a more practical study habit though my old works pretty well nman...
but since i'm 2-4 years away from earning $$ for my family.. i might as well start getting serious about it...
2. Na i would have a boyfriend or does have a boyfriend na ndi ko pa inaamin sa kanila and aaminin ko un after ng debut ko:
- tough luck.. cguro after 3-4 months after my birthday ko pa sya sasagutin..
3. That i would be soooo.... grateful for my party:
- yup!!! i am very grateful that they're throwing me a grand party for my debut... i must admit i didnt like the idea at first.. and up to now.. but now.. i DO understand why they're doing this.. partly selfish but more that not.. for ME.. God i love my parents...



Barkada and Friends
1. I would stop or at least lessen my childish antics:
- well.. i cant blame them for expecting that... or wishing it from the bottom of their hearts... they were there at times when i am very childish.. and i mean VERY... i am i admit.. and siguro nga.. it is time to change...
2. Stop being so LOUD and profanic... err... whatever
- i swear by everything pure and holy.. i WILL try!!!!

hmm... ayaw ko na isulat ung iba.. public blogs nga pla toh.. ahehe...
neway.. i have to go na.. i have volleyball practice pa pala... hay.. later!!!

i dont wanna grow up.. but i guess that is something un...stoppable... i wanna grow.. but not old.. got me?

ah well.. 18... wat's with that no.? who said that when you turn eighteen you are suppose to act like an adult???
anyway, im taking a big risk here but.. err.. who really gives a damn ryt? hmm.. i'll post my pretty pathetic not to mention ugly picture of myself here... and who knows??? maybe i'll get my well deserved criticism and laughs.. hay... well... happy bday to me!!!